Jokes about Families - Mother Jokes

Shopping in Texas

My grandpa would always tell me that when he was growing up, in rural Texas, his momma would give him $1 and send him down to the store. He'd come back with 2 loaves of bread, half a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, and a pound of pork. He says you can't do that now-a-days, way too many security cameras.

Categories: U.S. State Jokes (Texas Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Grandfather Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes)
Submitted BY: Patjay

Prize Convertible

There was this boy in high school that was what you would consider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basement of his home and one night he came up and said, "Dad look what I made." So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot of soil and instantly grass started to grow.
Of course his dad was really impressed with this and asked his son if he can make something to make his penis grow.
His son thought for a minute and said that if he did then dad would have to buy him a convertible. Dad agreed.
The next night the son came out of the basement and gave his dad a vial. The next morning his father came to him and told him that he had something to show him. They went to the front yard and the boy saw a cherry red ferrari.
The son looked at his dad and said, "I only asked for a convertible."
The dad replied, "The convertible is in the garage. The Ferrari is from your mother."

Categories: Sex Jokes , School Jokes (High School Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Failed Attempt

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, Mommy?" "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

Categories: Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes (At Home) , Insult Jokes (Ugly Insult Jokes) , Jokes about Kids , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous