Who Was That?
After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?"
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks, "What's that?" Her sister replies, "That is my possum, sis!" The young girl replies, "Oh, Okay." The next day she sees her mother get out of the shower and a pointing at her pussy again asks, "What's that?" Her mother replies, "That's my possum!" The young girl again replies "Oh, Okay." The next day she sees her grandmother getting out of the shower and once again pointing at her pussy asks, "What's that?" The grandmother replies "That's my possum!" The young girl replies "Oh, grandmother, is your possum dead?" The grandmother, looking a little dazzled replies "No, deary, why do you ask?" The young girl replies "Oh, its just that your possums tongue is sticking out!"
Traveling Salesman West Virginia
A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he comes upon a house with a little boy sitting on the front steps. "Son, is your mother home?" The little boy nods yes. "Can I see her please?" The boy nods again, and they go around to the back of the house where they find the mother on the ground, humping away with a sheep. "Son, do you see what your mother is doing?" The boy nods yes. "Do you know what that is?" The boy nods. "Doesn't that bother you?" "Naaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Politician Phoning His Mother
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. "Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!" "Honestly?" The politician's smiled faded. "Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"
A Day In The Life of Two Trees
Tree 1: "Hey look, Mother Nature's coming!"
Tree 2: "Look busy."