Punishment

Q: Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons?
A: I don't want the neighbors to think I'm employing corporal punishment, dear

Blonde Weighs Baby

At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first. "That won't work," countered the woman. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

Back Talk

Mother: "Are you talking back to me?!"
Son: "Well yeah, that's kinda how communication works."