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The best jokes and joke writers!

Eye Repair

A baby is born and after the initial examination, the doctor returns with some news. "Ma'am," says the doctor, " I'm sorry to tell you this but your son was born without any eyelids. But, it is an easy fix." He says, "After we've circumcised him, we can surgically recreate new eyelids with his foreskin."

"Oh dear" says the new mother "but won't that make him cock-eyed?" "Yes," replies the doctor, "but he'll have excellent foresight"

Little Johnny Answers.

The teacher was conducting a class in nutrition and asked the class to name four qualities of mother's milk.

Little Johnny pipes up and says, "I know teacher!  Number One: It's fresh.  Number Two: It's nutritious.  Number Three: It's served at just the right temperature.  And Number Four: It comes in a cool container!"

Comforting Marge

One day a woman got on a bus and sat with her 4 year old daughter. The whole ride she said, "hold on Marge, hold on, you will make it through Marge, just a little further Marge, just a little further, hold on...." When she got off the another woman told her, "that so nice of you to comfort little Marge." The woman looked puzzled, "no, my daughter's name is Ann, I'm Marge"

We've Been Robbed!

A farmer and his daughter were coming back from town with their money from some sales and a large sack of flour when all of a sudden these highway men held them up and robbed them of everything. A few minutes later the farmer exclaims, "We're ruined, all the money's gone and there's no flour for bread!" His daughter says, "No, papa, I hid the money in my you-know-what." The farmer said, "You're a good girl, but if your mamma was here - she could have saved the sack of flour as well!"

Remarkable Mom

The most remarkable thing about our mother is that for 30 years she served our family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.