Jokes about Families - Father Jokes

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

Dad: Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Son: I want to be a pizza delivery boy or a plumber.

Dad: Stop watching porn son.

A husband says to his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me." The wife replies, "I think he did. I still got mine with me!"

James and Beverly Jenkins had been married for twelve years when they mutually agreed to end it and get divorced. After the divorce was granted, that same day, as they stood facing each other for what could be the last time, James asked Beverly if she would mind him asking one last question. "Not at all, go right ahead," she replied. "Well, their is one thing that has always bother me. We have five kids with brown hair but youngest one, little Jimmy, has blonde hair. So, please tell me, whose kid is Jimmy?" "I just can't tell you, James. The answer would hurt you too much." "I'll be fine. Now that we're divorced, finding out whoever Jimmy came from can't hurt me too much." "Well, if it's that important to you...Jimmy is your child."

There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son's room and says "Son do you remember that session I arranged for you with mademoiselle Ginette ?" "Oh yes papa, I remember very well" says the son. "Well son it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same thing"