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The best jokes and joke writers!

Explaining Poo

A little boy asks his dad "Where does poo come from?" His father is taken aback by the question but decides to give his son the facts straight up.

"Well son," he says, "food passes down the esophagus by peristalsis. It enters the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal. This contracts the protein before waste enters the colon. Water is absorbed, whereupon it enters the rectum finally to emerge as poo."

"Wow," says the boy. "So where does Tigger come from?"

Gunpoint

A terrorist was holding a dad at gunpoint:

Terrorist: "Say your last words!"

Dad: "Your last words!"

Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"

Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"

Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"

Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."

Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?

Dad: "About a pound and a half."

Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"

Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"

Meet the Father

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

Careers

Dad: Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Son: I want to be a pizza delivery boy or a plumber.

Dad: Stop watching porn son.

Brains In The Family

A husband says to his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me." The wife replies, "I think he did. I still got mine with me!"