Lost Dog

Q: Where you you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left it.

You're Hired

A man goes into a job interview and presents himself very well. The employer is shocked at how professional he is and says, "Wow, you have an incredible resume and present yourself fantastically, but there is a five year gap on your employment history. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says, "Yay I got a yob!

Cruel Word

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?