Dark Humor Jokes
There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine. She very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started working there. Her name was Clearly, and she was absolutely gorgeous. He began to like her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too.
But, he was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine. He decided that there was nothing for him to do but to break up with Lorraine and date the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
One day as they were walking along the river bank, Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing... "I can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone..."
Cannibals and Clowns?
Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A: They taste funny!!
My mom just told me to cremate her and put her ashes in an hour glass so that even after she's dead and gone she can continue telling me how much time I'm wasting.
Girls find it creepy that I have sex in the same bed my grandma died in.
I mean, I'll move her once I've saved enough for a funeral.
Constipated Indian Chief
One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. He sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says "big chief, no shit". The doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill. The next morning the warrior was sent back to the witch doctor and says "big chief, no shit". The doctor gives him five pills and tells him to give them to the chief. The next day the warrior appears at the witch doctor's house yet again saying "big chief, no shit". The doctor gets annoyed and so gives the warrior the whole bottle of pills to give to the chief. The next day the warrior goes back to the witch doctor "Big shit, no chief".