Q: Have you heard about the sequel to the Exorcist?
A: In the new version, a woman hires the Devil to get a priest out of her son.
Knock, Knock, Knock
It's the day after Halloween and these kids are still knocking on my door.
When are they going to learn that they're not getting out of the basement?
The Molester in the Woods
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI!
A redneck brings his daughter to the gynecologist for birth control pills. The doctor asks, "Is your daughter sexually active?" The redneck says, "Naw, she just lays there like her mother."