A redneck brings his daughter to the gynecologist for birth control pills. The doctor asks, "Is your daughter sexually active?" The redneck says, "Naw, she just lays there like her mother."
MJ at Walmart
Q: Why did Michael Jackson run to Walmart?
A: Boys pants were half off.
Six People On A Plane
Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes. The doctor yells out, " Save the children" The lawyer yells out "FUCK THE CHILDREN!" The priest yells out " IS THERE TIME?"
A substitute for a Catholic priest is hearing confessions. He is confused about what to recommend a confessor should do to rectify guilt sustained, after doing a sexual favor for her boss. He sticks his head out of the confessional and asks a nearby alter boy what the father gives for a blowjob. The alter boy responds, "Usually a Snickers and a ride home."
Q: How does a Jewish pedophile hunt for children?
A: "Hen kid, want to buy some candy?"