Fire Blond

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The brunette jumps and SWISH!  The firemen yank the blanket away... the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato. "C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the redhead. "No! It's brunettes we can't stand!  We're OK with redheads!" "OK" says the redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell  "Jump! You have to jump!" "No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the blonde. "No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!" "Look," the blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . ."

A Lawyer Named Strange

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"

Sex With Teacher

After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."