Fish Proverb

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Irish Compassion

Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish accent:
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake. When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our five hour flight.
Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."

Too Much Whiskey

A guy walks into a bar and he orders a whiskey. He sits down and just before he takes a sip of his whiskey a guy runs in and says, "Bill! Your house burnt down!" So he runs outside but then he thinks, "I don't have a house." So he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of his whiskey. Another guy runs in and says, "Bill! Your dad died!" And so he runs out of the bar, gets on his horse and rides a little ways but then thinks, "I don't have a dad." So he goes back into the bar and drinks almost all of his whiskey when another guy runs in and says, "Bill! You won the lottery!" So he runs out, gets on his horse and rides all the way to the bank but then thinks, "My name's not Bill."