Trying To Prove A Point

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

Lite Beer & Canoes

Q: How can you compare a lite beer to making love in a canoe?
A: They're both fucking close to water!

Wrong Way

A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down a one-way street when a policeman pulled him over.
"Didn't you see the arrow, buddy?" he asked.
"An arrow?" the confused driver said. "I didn't even see the Indians!"