Alcohol Jokes

Misinterpreted

As a diabetes educator, a number of my clients truly do not understand that when I tell them two alcoholic drinks per day, it does not mean they can save them all and have 14 on Saturday night.

Categories: Profession Jokes (Teacher Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes , Disease / Afflictions Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Whose Turn Is It?

There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL," and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says, "Excuse me, you just farted before my wife." The drunks replies, "I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn."

Categories: Alcohol Jokes , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

My Car Is Shtolen!

An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you lad?" "Yesh, Shombody shtole me car!", the Irishman replies. The cop asks, "Well now, where was your car last time you saw it?" "It was at the end of this key." About this time the cop looks down to see that the Irishman's member is being exhibited for all to see. He then asks, "Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" The Irishman looks down woefully and moans "OOH GOD... they got me girl too!"

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous