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The best jokes and joke writers!

Take a Long Hot Bath

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath. Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door. A salesman at the door wanted to know if he needed any brushes. Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath. The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and robe, and the man started for the door again. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the hard porcelain bathtub. Cursing under his breath, the man struggled into his street clothes and with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor. After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you've been lucky. Nothing is broken. But you need to relax... Why don't you go home and take a long hot bath?"

Good Sneeze!

Patient: Doctor, ya gotta help me. Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.

Doctor: Really! What are you taking for it?

Patient (with a grin): Black pepper!

Sex Drive is Too High

A feeble old man is in his doctor's office having a check-up. The doctor finishes the check-up says to the man, "So, you seem in fine health. Any problems?" "Yes, Doc," the old man slowly responded. "My sex drive is too high and I need it lowered." This took the doctor quite by surprise. "You're 84 years old, and you're in fine health for a man of your age, and I know men half your age who would kill for a problem like that. So, why are you complaining?" "Well," the old man said, "I see all these sexy nurses at the home, and when I go for a walk, I see all these cute honeys all around, so that's why I'm here, Doc. I want my sex drive lowered. "Still confused, the doctor said, "I would think that at your age, you wouldn't complain about a high sex drive." "Doc," the old man said, "You don't understand. I need my sex drive lowered from here," pointing to his head, "to here," pointing to between his legs.

Wrong Operation

One Polish surgeon asks another: "How did that appendectomy go?" "Appendectomy?" shrieks the other. "I though it was an autopsy!"

Stinky Woman

Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor. "Do you wash?" the doctor asked the smelly young girl. "Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and I wash up as far as possible." "Well," the doctor concluded, "Go home and wash 'possible'!"