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The best jokes and joke writers!

Invisble Man Here to See You

Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.

Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.

Quick Wit

An older guy goes to the doctor’s office to ask about getting a prescription for Viagra. He’s in the waiting room when the woman at the reception desk calls his name and says, for everyone to hear, “Mr. Herder, You’re here to see the doctor about your impotence, right?” The guy is mortified. “No,” he says, just as loudly. “I’m looking into getting a sex change operation, and I was hoping to get the same doctor who did yours.”

Translation

A woman goes with her husband to the doctor for his exam. After the exam, the doctor pulls the wife aside and says: “Your husband is suffering from severe long-term stress, and he is a good candidate for a heart attack or stroke. If you don’t do the following three things, he will surely die. First, every morning fix him a healthy breakfast. Second, when he gets home make him a warm, nutritious dinner, and don’t burden him with household chores. Third, have sex with him several times a week.” On the way home, the husband asks the wife, “I saw the doctor talking to you and he looked serious. What did he say?” Wife: “He says you’re gonna die.”

Polish Eyes

A polish man goes to the eye doctor and looks at the chart - P Z C R K I C H. The doctor asks, "Can you see them?"

The man says, "See them? That's his cousin."

She Said, He Said

She said, "Kiss me doctor!" Doctor said, "I can't as we doctors have an ethics standard that does not allow us to kiss our patients, in fact, I really shouldn't be fucking you."