We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Stinky Woman

Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor. "Do you wash?" the doctor asked the smelly young girl. "Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and I wash up as far as possible." "Well," the doctor concluded, "Go home and wash 'possible'!"

Little Prick

I was pruning roses when I hurt myself. I called my doctor for advice, but they called me a pervert and hung up on me as soon as I told them I had a prick in my hand.

Bad Doctor

A man was recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. The man replies, "I'm alright, but I didn't like the four letter word the doctor used in surgery." The nurse asked, "What did he say?" "OOPS!"

Bad and Worse News

A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.

Doctor: "Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news."

Man: "Well, give me the really bad news first."

Doctor: "You have cancer, and only 6 months to live."

Man: "And the bad news?"

Doctor: "You have Alzheimer's disease."

Man: "That's great. I was afraid I had cancer!"

Doctor's Notes

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."