Profession Jokes

Animal Psychologist

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!'' and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Psychiatrist Jokes)
Anonymous

Teachers to Change Light Bulb

Q: How many teachers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Well, teachers generally don't change light bulbs, but a good teacher can make a dim one brighter!

Categories: Light Bulb Jokes , Profession Jokes (Teacher Jokes) , Riddles
Anonymous

Ponderings Collection 14

  • Why do they report power outages on TV?
  • Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
  • I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the driver's side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side.
  • After you lose an election, will they let you back into all the exclusive clubs you resigned from?
  • This is the only place in the country where people pull over and stop for a funeral, but speed up to cut off an ambulance or a firetruck.
  • I went out today and bought everything I've been wanting, because now that the elections are over, I know that the politicians are going to take care of the middle class.
  • The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.
  • I really feel sorry for Madonna's baby, having to grow without a last name.
  • Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?
  • The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.

Categories: Political Jokes , Profession Jokes (Politician Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Work & Office Jokes (About Meetings) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Anonymous