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The best jokes and joke writers!

In The Beginning

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Tricky Tradesman

A Scottish tradesman, a painter called Jack, was very interested in making extra money where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time. Eventually the Presbyterian Church decided to do a big restoration job on one of their biggest churches. Jack put in a painting bid, and because his price was so competitive, he got the job. And so he set to, with a right good will, erecting the trestles and putting up the planks and buying the paint and thinning it down with the turpentine. Well, Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky opened, and rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and knocking Jack fair off the scaffold to land on the lawn. Now, Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his knees and cried, "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?" From the thunder, a mighty voice spoke: "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

First Black Man

Q: What did God say when he made the first black man?

A: "Damn, I burnt one."

Yo Mama - Hi Five God

Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.

Yo Mama - Let There Be Light

Yo' Mama is so fat, after God said, "Let there be light," he had to push her fat ass over to make it happen.