There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"
First Black Man
Q: What did God say when he made the first black man?
A: "Damn, I burnt one."
Yo Mama - Hi Five God
Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.
Yo Mama - Let There Be Light
Yo' Mama is so fat, after God said, "Let there be light," he had to push her fat ass over to make it happen.
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."