Bill Clinton, Barack Obama and Al Gore
Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed.
Now they're in heaven, and God is sitting on the great golden throne.
God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?" Al replies, "Well, I believe that the internal combustion engine is the root of all evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?" Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things, and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain, but not inhaling." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."
God then addresses Obama. "Barack Obama, what do you believe in?" Obama said, "I believe you're in my chair."
God being Man
Q: How do we know that God is a man?
A: Because if God was a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.
A little boy was kneeling beside his bed with his mother and grandmother and softly saying his prayers, "Dear God, please bless Mummy and Daddy and all the family and please give me a good night's sleep." Suddenly he looked up and shouted, "And don't forget to give me a bicycle for my birthday!!" "There is no need to shout like that," said his mother. "God isn't deaf." "No," said the little boy, "but Grandma is."
First Black Man
Q: What did God say when he made the first black man?
A: "Damn, I burnt one."
Yo Mama - Hi Five God
Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.