New Treasury Bonds

The U.S. Treasury has just announced that it will sell three new types of bonds:
1. The Al Gore bond, which has no interest
.2. The Monica Lewinsky bond, which has no maturity And...
3. The Bill Clinton Bond, which has no principal.

Herman the hypochondriac began sobbing before a doctor...

Herman the hypochondriac began sobbing before a doctor. "I'm sure I've got a liver disease, and I'm gonna die from it."
"Ridiculous," said the doctor. "You'd never know if you had the disease or not. With that ailment there's no discomfort of any kind."
"Right," said Herman, "those are my exact symptoms."

Bet On Questions

A lawyer and a regular average Joe are on a plane together. The pilot comes on the speaker and announces that the flight will take up to 16 hours. The lawyer turns to Joe and says, "Okay, I have a game we can play while we pass the time. You ask me any question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $50. Then, I get to ask you a question, any question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5." The average Joe says, "Okay, what has four legs going up a hill, and three legs at the bottom?" The lawyer thinks for a moment, then hands Joe $50 and says, "Wow, that was tough. I don't know, what does have four legs going up a hill and three legs at the bottom?" Joe then hands the lawyer $5 and says to him, "There's your $5."