How Shit Happens

In The Beginning was The Plan.  
And then came the Assumptions.  
And the Assumptions were without form.  
And the Plan was completely without substance and the darkness was upon the face of the workers and they spoke among themselves,saying... "It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."
And the workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth, "It is a pile of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them, "It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them, "It promotes growth and is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President and sayeth unto him, "This new Plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this Company, and in these areas in particular."
And the President looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good, and the Plan became Policy.
This Is How Shit Happens.

Going To Jail

I can't talk to you right now, tell me, where will you be in 10 years?

Tough Judge

The judge handed the accused a piece of paper and asked him to read what was written on it, You should have seen the trouble he had saying "The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick"
He's always handing out tough sentences.