Test Results

My doctor told me I had liver disease.
Better than having dier disease I suppose.

Sexual Tension Quiz

Instructions: For each answer, you will have three clues. Try to determine what the object or thing is that is being described. For every correct answer you give, give yourself 2 points, for every incorrect answer deduct 2 points. If you score less than 14 points, you are in need of more sex. If you score between 14 points and 21 points, you are in need of more love. If you score over 21 points, you are classed as having a great sex experience.
Now please begin. "CLUES"
1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good.
2. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts.
3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger.
4. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open.
5. You stick your poles inside me .You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
6. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.
7. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
8. All day long, it's in and out .I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me.
9. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard.
10. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news.
11. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off.
12. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
13. My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it.


Answers:1. nose
2. peanut butter
3. crane
4. Titanic
5. tent
6. dentist
7. wedding ring
8. elevator
9. chewing gum
10. newspaper boy
11. glove
12. arrow
13. attorney

Half-Bird

Getting fed up of my girlfriend's speech impediment. She asked me to thaw the chicken that was in the freezer, then got pissed off when I cut it in half.