We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Boston Freeze

My husband and I purchased an old home in Boston from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and the years first snow came early and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."

Knock Knock - Jilly

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Jilly!

Jilly who!

Jilly out here, so let me in!

Frozen Windows

Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning... 

'Windows frozen; won't open'

Husband texts back, 'Pour warm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer'

Five minutes later wife texts back, 'Computer really messed up now.'

Cold in Boston

I just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Massachusetts.  He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.  The temperature is -32 and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. The wind chill is -59.  His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

He told me that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in!