Trade In Value
Get a new car for your spouse; it will be a great trade!
Q: How many Branch Davidians can you fit in a car?
A: It depends on how big your ashtray is!
Blondes Locked Out of Car
Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stand there and think for a while. Finally one gets am idea to try to open the car with a hanger. So the first blonde starts fiddling with the lock with the hanger. The other blonde looks up at the sky and suddenly becomes very worried. "HURRY, HURRY," she urges. "IT'S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!"
Lorena Bobbitt Car Accident
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident?
A: Some dick cut her off.
Identify The Problem
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many. Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, "speed trap ahead". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted "tips" and a bucket of change.