Ran Out of Gas
While driving down the road a man ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a Bee flew in his window. The Bee said, "What seems to be the problem?" " I'm out of gas," replied the man. The Bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out. " Try it now," exclaimed the Bee! The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. " Wow!" the man exclaimed. "What did you do?" " Ahhh, it was easy," said the Bee. We just filled it up with "BP "
Go Up in Reverse
Once a Sardarji (a caste man in India) goes to visit a temple on a top of Mt. Abu, where the roads are like a zig-zag. At the starting point towards the Temple, a man tells Sardarji that it will be better to take his car in reverse to the top of Mt. Abu as there will be no space at the top to turn around up there. So, as per the guidelines given by the man, The Sardarji, goes to the top of Mt. Abu in reverse. After sometime the Sardarji comes down of the hill in reverse.. When the man sees him, he asks the Sardarji why he came down the hill in a reverse gear. The Sardarji replies that he got some space at the top of the hill so he reversed his car.
State of Mississippi
A guy drives on the highway and sees a sign that says, "Mississippi State Whorehouse -- 10 miles." He decides to stop in. A madam answers the door, and the man requests a whore. The madam says, "I'll need $500 first." The man pays, then asks about his whore again. The madam says "Wait for 15 minutes in that hallway. Go straight, left, straight, right, and then go through the door at the end of the hall." He follows the directions, walks out the door and finds himself in the parking lot. His car has a sign on it that says, "Congrats! You've just been screwed by the state of Mississippi!"
The U.S. Government decided to gather data to better understand what people say right before they get into an auto accident. 89% of the people in 49 states said: ''Oh, shit!'' In Texas 94% said: ''Hold my beer. Watch this.''
Blonde's New Sportscar
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"