Women and Men, Wine and Grapes

Men are like a fine grape:

• They are best kept in the dark.
• They can't handle too much heat.
• They perform best when they are stepped on.

 
Women are like the wine that comes from the grape:

• They are sweet, vigorous, and full-bodied when they are young.
• They don't age well without preservatives.
• They become sour and vinegary if they remain bottled up.

What Women Would Do if They Had a Penis for a Day

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9......

Easy Psychoanalysis for Men

Q: Why is psycho- analysis so much easier for men rather than women?
A: Because when it comes time to revert to childhood, men are already there.