The Barracks Door Was Left Open

Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said,  "Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open." He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was open. So, he decided to have a little fun with his secretary and called her back into his office. "By the way Miss Smith," he said, "When you noticed my barracks door open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention ?" "Why no sir," she replied, "All I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."

New Drug

Did you here about the pharmaceutical company? They developed a new drug that, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent and become a nun.
The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.

Women and Men, Wine and Grapes

Men are like a fine grape:

• They are best kept in the dark.
• They can't handle too much heat.
• They perform best when they are stepped on.

 
Women are like the wine that comes from the grape:

• They are sweet, vigorous, and full-bodied when they are young.
• They don't age well without preservatives.
• They become sour and vinegary if they remain bottled up.