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The best jokes and joke writers!

Black People and Sperm

Q: What do black people and sperm have in common?

A: Only one in a million work.

Chinese Proverbs

  • Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
  • Man who run in front of car get tired.
  • Man who run behind car get exhausted.
  • Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
  • Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
  • Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
  • Man with one chopstick go hungry.
  • Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.
  • Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
  • Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
  • Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
  • War not determine who right, war determine who left.
  • Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
  • Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
  • It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
  • Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
  • Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
  • Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
  • Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
  • Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
  • Man who lay woman on ground get piece on earth.

Irish Viagra

An old rish woman visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra," asked the doctor. "Not a chance," she said, "He won't even take an aspirin." "Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra." "What is Irish Viagra?" she asked. "It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and let's talk in a week." A week later the doctor called the woman to check on the results. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!" "Oh my, really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arms, he sent me biscuits, gravy, cups and saucers flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"

"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?" "Freakin' jaysus, it was the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face at Bob Evans again."

Keep the Motor Running

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running." The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?" He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running." The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "You must be quite a man." He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running." The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil, this one's black!"

Mexican Girl

Q: How did the Mexican girl get pregnant?

A: Her teacher told her to do an essay.