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The best jokes and joke writers!

Three Dogs at the Vet

Three dogs were at the vet talking to each other, when they got to the topic of why they were there.

The first dog says, "I chewed up all my masters shoes, and that's why I'm here."

The second dog said, "I peed on my masters $1,000 rug."

The third dog then pipes up and says, "My master is a woman and she likes to clean house in the nude. So today, when she bent over to pick something up, I went for the ride of a life time!"

"And that's why you're here?" asked the other dogs.

"No," replied the third. "I'm getting my nails clipped."

Solution!

That Scottish couple finally worked out a solution to the eternal love triangle. They ate the sheep.

Greenhorn in Alaska

A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough. The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things.

First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. Second, he had to wrestle with a grizzly bear. And last, he had to make love to an Athabascan Indian woman.

"No problem," said the cheechako, and off he went. He hired himself a guide, and soon had dispatched his first duty.

Then they found the grizzly bear. The cheechako chased the bear into a cave. The most awful roaring and screaming emitted from that cave, along with blood and fur. Finally, the cheechako staggered out of the cave.

"Okay," he said to the guide. "Where's that Indian woman I'm supposed to wrassle?"

Mary Had

Mary had a little sheep, with this sheep, she went to sleep. The sheep turned out to be a ram, and Mary had a little lamb.

Farmer Surprise

Q: What did the farmer say when he read that genetic engineers were implanting human DNA into goats?

A: "Hell, I've been doing that for years."