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The best jokes and joke writers!

Sex With Sheep

Q: Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of mountains?

A: So they push back harder.

Birds and Bees

My young nephew Tommy asked me how babies are made. I had no idea how to approach it so I looked online and found a video that explains it all. At the end of the video I told him, "It's basically just like that, only the white goo on her face should have gone up her pussy and normally there isn't a horse involved."

Meaner Than a Pitbull

Q:  What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?

A: The guy who gave it to him.

Three Dogs at the Vet

Three dogs were at the vet talking to each other, when they got to the topic of why they were there.

The first dog says, "I chewed up all my masters shoes, and that's why I'm here."

The second dog said, "I peed on my masters $1,000 rug."

The third dog then pipes up and says, "My master is a woman and she likes to clean house in the nude. So today, when she bent over to pick something up, I went for the ride of a life time!"

"And that's why you're here?" asked the other dogs.

"No," replied the third. "I'm getting my nails clipped."

Solution!

That Scottish couple finally worked out a solution to the eternal love triangle. They ate the sheep.