Arkansas Clinton Sex Scandal Survey

Time magazine sent a survey to women in Arkansas, asking for their opinions on the Clinton Sex Scandal. One of the questions: Would you ever have an affair with Bill Clinton? The results were staggering!
5% - No
3% - Yes
92% - Never Again

You Might Be A Redneck 37

You might be a redneck if...

• The directions to your bathroom include, "Go past the big oak and hang a left at the woodshed."
• You're in bed with your wife and you call out a name you gave to a coon you killed.
• You've ever been arrested for where you got your girlfriend roses.
• Your old car is now considered the main storage unit.
• Every magazine on your coffee table has a piece of toilet paper for a bookmark.
• Charlie Daniels is your commencement speaker.
• After the divorce you still call your Ex "Cuz".
• You have a bowling machine in your kitchen.
• You pick up your girlfriend on a bike for the prom.
• The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.

Cold Winter Night

On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, "I had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick." The guy on the left says, "I also had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick." The guy in the middle says, "I had a dream that I went skiing."