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The best jokes and joke writers!

Newfoundland Fisherman Burial

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, "Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons... Funeral arrangements haven't yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea."

Real News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years.

Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man.

Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy.

Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better.

20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar War Dims Hope For Peace.

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While.

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.

Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation.

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years.

Actual News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

March Planned For Next August.

Blind Bishop Appointed To See.

Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip.

L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide.

Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through.

Latin Course To Be Canceled--No Interest Among Students, Et Al.

Diaper Market Bottoms Out.

Croupiers On Strike--Management: "No Big Deal"

Stadium Air Conditioning Fails--Fans Protest.

Hidden Cameras

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

December 18, 1992 - Michael J. Schmidt, 29, set up a hidden video camera at his home near Superior, Wis., because he had been burglarized several times and thought he could catch the culprits in the act. The burglars came back and were captured on tape, which Schmidt turned over to the sheriff. Among the items the burglars took from Schmidt's house was a box containing eight marijuana plants. Schmidt was charged with misdemeanor drug possession.

Ice Cream Flavors

A January 1994 Reuters News Service story on Manuel Oliveira's ice cream shop in Merida, Venezuela, reported on his 567 flavors, including onion, chili, beer, eggplant, smoked trout, spaghetti parmesan, chicken with rice, and spinach. He said some flavors fail; he once abandoned avocado ice cream, and tossed out 99 pounds of it, because it wasn't smooth enough.