Q: What kind of phone did Steven Hawking use?
A: A smart phone
Q: What does it mean when a groundhog sees a maple leaf on February 2nd?
A: Six more weeks of bad hockey!
Q: What did one traffic light say to the other?
A: Don't look at me while I'm changing!
Q: What did the salad say to the fridge?
A: Shut the door, I'm dressing!
Q: Why do turkeys eat so little?
A: Because they are always stuffed!