Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: Because he drank his Latte before it was cool.
Q: What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy?
A: A Dry Martinez!
Q: What did one traffic light say to the other?
A: Don't look at me while I'm changing!
Q: Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade?
A: Because he didn't want to be a hot dog!