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The best jokes and joke writers!

Next Stop

Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die?

A: Everywhere

Gunpoint

A terrorist was holding a dad at gunpoint:

Terrorist: "Say your last words!"

Dad: "Your last words!"

Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"

Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"

Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"

Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."

Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?

Dad: "About a pound and a half."

Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"

Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"

Extreme Uber

A Muslim Extremist orders an Uber. His uber driver arrives so he gets in the car and then asks the driver a question.

Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have radio?

Driver: no.

Extremist: so why do you have the radio on?

Driver: turns off radio

The extremist then asks another question:

Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have air conditioning?

Driver: no.

Extremist: so why are using it?

Driver: turns of the air conditioner

The driver decided to ask the extremist a question.

Driver: in the time of Muhammad did they have uber?

Extremist: obviously not.

Driver: then get the fuck out!

Interpretation

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.  Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

Important Question

Q: How do you keep a terrorist from drowning?

A: Take your foot off his head.