A Muslim Extremist orders an Uber. His uber driver arrives so he gets in the car and then asks the driver a question.
Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have radio?
Extremist: so why do you have the radio on?
Driver: turns off radio
The extremist then asks another question:
Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have air conditioning?
Extremist: so why are you using it?
Driver: turns of the air conditioner
The driver decided to ask the extremist a question.
Driver: in the time of Muhammad did they have Uber?
Extremist: obviously not.
Driver: then get the fuck out!
Distinguishing an Arab from a Terrorist
Q: How do you distinguish an arab from a terrorist?
A: You don't ..... that's the problem!
Osama's Coded Message
After numerous rounds of, "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help. Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."
Dress to Kill
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
NEWS FLASH: Terrorists...
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in one of the neighborhoods in Detroit, MI. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. Police Officials have detained the following terrorists on civil unrest issues:
1: Bin Sleepin
2: Bin Drinkin
3: Bin Fightin
The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, anywhere in the neighborhood. Police are very confident that anyone who looks like Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community. No further information available.