Religion Jokes

Ten Commandments

So an Archangel comes from heaven to give humanity these nifty new commandments from God.
First he goes to the French and says: "I have new Commandments from God, would you like to hear them?" "Ah, oui? What do zey say?" "For example: Thou shalt not commit adultery" "Oh, non, non, merci, non", and they send the Angel on his way.
The Angel then goes to the Germans: "I have new Commandments from God." "Ja? Vat do they say?" "Well for example: Thou shalt not kill" The Germans shake their heads, "I think's not, nein, danke!"
The Angel, perturbed, goes to the Jews and says: "I have new Commandments from God..." "How much?" "Well...they're free"
"We'll take ten."

Categories: Religion Jokes (God Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (French Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (German Jokes)
Anonymous

A Priest's Recommendation

One day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall. While he was on the toilet, he heard moaning coming from the stall next to him. He stood up to look over, and there was little Jimmy, sitting on the toilet masturbating. The priest was shocked. He told Jimmy that he knew what he was doing in there and that he should save it for marriage. Little Jimmy agreed to this only because it was coming from a priest. About a week later the priest ran into Jimmy at the mall and asked him how he was doing with his problem. Jimmy replied "Great father, I've saved a whole quart!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes) , Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes , Word Play Jokes , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Little Johnny and the Preacher's Lost Skill

This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning.  "This mower work, son?" the preacher asked.  Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though."  The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked, and pulled, and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start.  Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough."  "Well," Johnny said, "you need to curse at it sometimes."  The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!" "Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you!"

Categories: Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes (At Home) , Religion Jokes (Protestant Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous