Religion Jokes

Little Johnny and the Preacher's Lost Skill

This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning.  "This mower work, son?" the preacher asked.  Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though."  The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked, and pulled, and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start.  Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough."  "Well," Johnny said, "you need to curse at it sometimes."  The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!" "Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you!"

Categories: Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes (At Home) , Religion Jokes (Protestant Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Religion Sampler

So I went to a mixed religion convention. The Christian Priest came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!” I smiled and told him I was not paralysed. The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today! I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me. The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!” I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me” The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!” I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After the sermons, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen.

Categories: Religion Jokes (Buddhism Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Religion Jokes (God Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jesus Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Muslim Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Six People On A Plane

Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes. The doctor yells out, " Save the children" The lawyer yells out  "FUCK THE CHILDREN!" The priest yells out " IS THERE TIME?"

Categories: Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Lawyer Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Pedophile Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous