Religion Jokes

Ten Commandments

So an Archangel comes from heaven to give humanity these nifty new commandments from God.
First he goes to the French and says: "I have new Commandments from God, would you like to hear them?" "Ah, oui? What do zey say?" "For example: Thou shalt not commit adultery" "Oh, non, non, merci, non", and they send the Angel on his way.
The Angel then goes to the Germans: "I have new Commandments from God." "Ja? Vat do they say?" "Well for example: Thou shalt not kill" The Germans shake their heads, "I think's not, nein, danke!"
The Angel, perturbed, goes to the Jews and says: "I have new Commandments from God..." "How much?" "Well...they're free"
"We'll take ten."

Categories: Religion Jokes (God Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (French Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (German Jokes)
Anonymous

Cramming

"Why do you keep reading the Bible everyday?" the teenage girl asked her grandfather. "Well, it's a bit like cramming for your final exam," said Grandpa.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes)
Anonymous

A Priest's Recommendation

One day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall. While he was on the toilet, he heard moaning coming from the stall next to him. He stood up to look over, and there was little Jimmy, sitting on the toilet masturbating. The priest was shocked. He told Jimmy that he knew what he was doing in there and that he should save it for marriage. Little Jimmy agreed to this only because it was coming from a priest. About a week later the priest ran into Jimmy at the mall and asked him how he was doing with his problem. Jimmy replied "Great father, I've saved a whole quart!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes) , Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes , Word Play Jokes , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes)
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