Religion Jokes

The Minister's Joke

A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well. The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!" The congregation inhaled half the air in the room. After standing there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Religion Jokes , Old Age Jokes (Memory Jokes)
Anonymous

Nun In A Wheelchair

Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
A: A holy roller

Categories: Riddles , Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Religious Golf Match

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, prime minister of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Netanyahu wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life. "Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Phil Mickleson. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Netanyahu... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Phil was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Mickleson reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Mickleson. "Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Netanyahu?!!" "No," said Mickleson, "second to Rabbi Woods."

Categories: Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes)
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Anonymous