Yo Mama - Autographed Bible

Yo' Mama is so old, she's got a Bible autographed by Jesus.

Be Sure and Pack

Q: What animals were last to leave the ark?
A: The elephants as they had to pack their trunks!

Draft Dodger

To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”