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The best jokes and joke writers!

Sister and Priest

A priest and nun are on their way back home from a convention when their car breaks down. They are unable to get repairs completed and it appears that they will have to spend the night in a motel. The only motel in this town has only one room available so they have a minor problem.

Priest: Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on the couch and you take the bed.

Sister: I think that would be okay. They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later...

Sister: Father, I'm terribly cold.

Priest: Okay, I'll get up and get you a blanket from the closet. Ten minutes later...

Sister: Father, I'm still terribly cold.

Priest: Okay Sister, I'll get up and get you another blanket. Ten minutes later...

Sister: Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night.

Priest: You're probably right... get up and get your own damn blanket!

The Three Nuns and the Father

Three nuns are talking. The first nun says, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What did you do?" the other nun asks. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash." The second nun says, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasp the other nuns. "What did you do?" they ask. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replies. The third nun faints.

Wheelchair Nun

Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

A: Virgin Mobile!!

Why Man, Then Woman

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiece.

Open Casket

3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say: LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!!!"