Healthy wife

May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead.

How Did He Look?

A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions, but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry." At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex, that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?" "He was looking through the window at us!"

Marriage Quotes

• All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems.
• Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control.
• Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions.
• It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing.
• May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead.
• May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters.
• May your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears.
• Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over."
• The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage.
• There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics and war hold him in check. And the wife who wants him home by five, of course. -- Encyclopaedia Apocryphia