After I Die

A husband asks his wife, "Will you marry after I die?" The wife responds, "No, I will live with my sister." The wife asks him back, "Will you marry after I die?" The husband responds, "No, I will also live with your sister."

Anything You Need?

Trying to contact her dead husband, Edna goes to a psychic who tells her that her husband is fine and looking forward to their reunion. “Is there anything he needs?” asks Edna. The psychic replies, “He says he’d love a pack of cigarettes.” “Oh,” says Edna. “And did he say where I should try to send them?” “No,” replies the psychic. “But then again, he didn’t ask for any matches.”

Camoflage Nightie

You might be a redneck if your wife owns a camouflage nightie.