Relationship Jokes - Marriage Jokes

Martian Sex

One day, a space ship landed in a farmer's field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple in his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so the Martians agreed. Later that night, the Martian man explained how, on their planet, it was customary to swap partners as a token of friendship. The farmer, not wanting to offend his alien neighbors, readily agreed. The Martian then man took the farmer's wife into one bedroom while the farmer took the Martian woman into another. They had been having sex for about an hour when the Martian man asked the farmer's wife, "Well, how do you like having sex with a Martian? How does it feel?" The farmer's wife replied "It needs to be a little bigger around." So the Martian man twisted his right ear and presto, his penis became bigger around. About an hour later, the Martian man asked the farmer's wife again "How does it feel now?" The farmer's wife responded "I think it needs to be a little longer." So the Martian man twisted his left ear and presto, his penis became longer. The next morning, after their alien neighbors had left, the farmer and his wife were having coffee at the breakfast table and the farmer asked his wife "How was the Martian man?" To this, the farmer's wife replied "Fine." "And how about the Martian woman?" The farmer replied, "That damn bitch yanked on my fucking ears all night long!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Insult Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Why remember your mistakes?

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Categories: Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Boston Freeze

My husband and I purchased an old home in Boston from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and the years first snow came early and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , U.S. State Jokes (Massachusetts Jokes) , Weather Jokes (Snow / Blizzard Jokes) , Weather Jokes (So Cold Here Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Anonymous