Q: How do you get a Rams fan to stop beating his wife?
A: Put her in a Patriots jersey
The Girl With Two Black Eyes?
Q: What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice.
My Grandad was wounded by a German during the war
Granny Schneider found him in bed with another woman and shot him
Jumping the Gun
I went to a crematorium to plan my wife's funeral, but apparently she has to be dead first.
A Woman with Two Black Eyes
Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing! You already told her twice!