Relationship Jokes

Triplets

A doctor from Canada was having an affair with one of his female co-workers. One day she announced to him that she was pregnant with his child. The doctor gave her enough money to fly to California and live their until the child was born. He gave her instructions to send him a postcard with the word SAURKRAUT on it when she gave birth. About nine months later the doctor arrived home when his wife handed him a postcard. "Here", she said. "This came in the mail today". The doctor took the postcard and it read... SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT;  TWO WITH WEINERS & ONE WITHOUT!

Categories: Word Play Jokes , Sex Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Pregnancy Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Up or Down?

There was an elderly couple that was on their way for a 2 week vacation on a Caribbean cruise. The wife, unfortunately, forgot her hearing aides at home... Upon arriving to the cabin that was to be theirs during the trip, they noticed that it had 2 bunk beds. So, as they were retiring for the first night, the husband says to his wife, "Up, or down?" The wife inexplicably removes all her clothing and makes love to her husband all night long. The next night, the husband wonders if he'll get lucky again... So, he says to his wife, "Up, or down?" She again removes all her clothing and makes love to him all night long. This continues for 2 glorious weeks. When they arrive home from their trip, the wife retrieves her hearing aides. As they retire for the first night home, the husband decides to try the magic words again... "Up, or down?" His wife says, "What?" To which he replies, "During the whole trip, my dear, I said those words every night and you took off all your clothes and made love to me all night long." The wife says, "Ooooh, I thought you said 'Fuck, or drown !".

Categories: Old Age Jokes (Hearing Jokes) , Old Age Jokes (Old Age Sex Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Drowning Jokes) , Sex Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Honest Marriage

A wealthy business man and his wife are looking through a marriage- help book when his husband turns to his wife. ''It says here that the most important thing in a marriage is honesty. So let's come to grips here. Honey... have you ever cheated on me? I've never cheated on you.'' He saw the twisted look on his wife's face, and trying to suppress his anger, he asked: ''How many times? And when?'' The wife responded, ''Well... you know that time when your company was broke, and you couldn't get the landlord to let his pay slide for another month?'' The husband stared. ''You mean you're the one who got him to?'' His wife nodded. The husband thought it over, then sighed. ''I guess that's okay. Any other times?'' ''Well... when you had that heart attack, and the doctor refused to give a heart transplant for the amount of money we had at the time... I kinda...'' ''Ah, you're the one who made it possible.'' The husband looked honestly relieved. ''Well, that's understandable, you saved my life. Any others?'' She nodded. ''One more.'' The husband leaned forward. ''Well... you remember the time when you were running for president of your company, and you were short by 17 votes...?''

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Anonymous