Redneck Disease

A redneck visits the doctor and says, "I have seenus disease." The doctor said, "You mean sinus disease." The man said, "No, I was in bed with my girlfriend and my wife seen us."

Female Guitar Player

Consider the following:
Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend in a crowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart, I need a new G string!"

Saving the Situation

After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, "What the hell happened?" "As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied the wife. "Piss on him," answered the husband. "You did," said the wife, "and he fired you." "Well, fuck him," said the husband. "I did, and you go back to work in the morning."