Stripper Date

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class. 
Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down they want some too.

Inconsistent Guardian Angel

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice say "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where were you when I got married?"

Suffering

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."  The counselor turns to her husband and inquires, "Is that true?". The husband replies, "Well not exactly, she's the one that suffers, not me."