Imagine This

A therapist told a woman to use some imagination while making love with her husband to spice things up. She replied, "You mean imagine that it's good?!"

My Wife

Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire!"

Well, How Do I Look?

The Top Bad Response For Guys To Give To The "How Do I Look" Question

1. "That's a great outfit honey but Halloween was 6 weeks ago."
2. "I ain't seen a caboose that big since Amtrak left town."
3. "Uh-uh, the last time I answered that question, I went temporarily blind."
4. "Ssshhh, the games on right now... go look in the mirror, that's what its there for!!"
5. "Oh man, I'm gonna lose my lunch."
6. "Like the girl I was with yesterday."
7. "Like someone in dire need for some liposuction."
8. "Well, if I close my eyes, just like my previous, prettier girlfriend."
9. "How can I put this... MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"