Relationship Jokes

Lights Off for 30 Years

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her.  All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo.  She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He replied, "Explain the kids!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: skylertouchet

Muscle Contraction

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.  This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.  He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked,  "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"
She replied, "Probably golfing with his buddies."
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.

Categories: Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Sex Jokes
Anonymous

The Butcher's Wife

Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife?
A: Meet Patty.

Categories: Food Jokes (Meat-eater Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Profession Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Riddles , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous