Deere Dance

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. He performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay. Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. "But me 'n the wife been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."

Country Tunes

• Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
• Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
• Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
• How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
• I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life!
• Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling!
• Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
• I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
• I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
• I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
• If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
• My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
• Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
• She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

Cajun Virgin

In the middle of his honeymoon, the young hillbilly bridegroom left his bride back at the hotel and shows up at his parents house completely distraught. His father asks him, "Son, why you not with you bride on you honeymoon?".  The boy replies, "Daddy I was jus' gettin ready to love my bride when she tell me she want me to know she a virgin. So I come to ask what do I do?".  The father says, "Boy don' be tellin me you don' know what do wid a womin, specially a virgin."  The boy says, "Daddy, course I knows what to do wid a woman, but dis be ma wife."  The father replies, "So what difference dis make?" To which the son says, "Well daddy, I jus got to figure if she ain't good nuff for her own family she shore ain't good enough for ours!"