An Arkansas Divorce
The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled. "Why so glum, Chum?", asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister?"
Sho Is a Wonder
One day Rastus and Liza Jane were sitting at the bus stop when Rastus ups and asks, "Liza Jane can I's look up your dress before the bus gets here?" Liza Jane was startled and said, "No Rastus you cain't!" Well Rastus persisted and persisted till finally Liza Jane said, "Alright if'n it will shut you up you can." So Rastus looks up her dress and sees that she has no panties on to which he exclaims, "Sho is a wonder!" Well the bus shows up and they gets on. Next day, Rastus and Liza Jane are sitting there again when Rastus ups and asks her, "Liza Jane, can I look up your dress again?" Well Liza Jane at first refused, but as the day before she then gave in. So Rastus looks up there and seeing no panties he exclaims, again, "Sho is a wonder!" Well this goes on for a few days when on the last day that Liza Jane would permit Rastus to look up her dress she tells him, "Rastus you can look up my dress but you have to tell me one thing?" Rastus replies, "What's that?" "Every time you look up my dress you says, "Sho is a wonder. Sho is a wonder what?" To which Rastus replies, "Sho is a wonder your guts don't fall out!!"
The Hillbilly Chain Saw
Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to buy a chain saw? He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day. He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days later complaining that it only cut one tree and that took all day. The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what the problem was. The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?
Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
A: Three. One to eat it and two to watch for cars.
Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?
Sister: He thinks he's a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken?
Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.