- Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
- Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
- How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
- I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life!
- Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling!
- Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
- I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
- I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
- I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
- If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
- My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
- Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
- She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
The Hillbilly Chain Saw
Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to buy a chain saw? He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day. He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days later complaining that it only cut one tree and that took all day. The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what the problem was. The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?
Billie and Tillie were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?" The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him!"
Q: What do you call foreplay in Alabama?
A: Hey sis, you awake?
A hillbilly husband died and left everything to his wife. He put a provision in his will, though, that she couldn't touch any of it until she turned 14.