Al Gore Quotes

• "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
• "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
• "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
• "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
   

Oscar Mayer™ Song

Sung to the Oscar Mayer™ song:
His baloney has a first name, It's "I did not inhale." His baloney has a second name: "I wasn't getting tail." He loves to sling it every day, The White House people all just say, That Billy Clinton has a way Of making bullshit sound OK!

Medicare Part G

Two senior citizens are lamenting about the lack of good nursing homes.  One of the seniors says he's considering taking advantage of Medicare 'Part G'  The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part "G") and one bullet. You're allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered! As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!  And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. As an added bonus, because you're a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes! Is this a great country or what?  Now that you've solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week.