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The best jokes and joke writers!

Drawing God

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

Boys at the Zoo

A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lions' cage and asks them their names and what they're up to. The first boy says, "My name's Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions." The second boy says, "My name's Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions." The third boy says, "My name is Peanuts."

Stone Sinking in Water

Teacher:  "Why does a stone sink in water when you thrown it in?"

Student:  "Because it does not know how to swim!"

Condom Company

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

Mommy Dearest!

As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3 year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.  Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy is gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.  When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face and tears down her face.  I said, "What's wrong honey?"  Sad and broken up she looked at me and said, "Mommy, where's my booger?"